


A Rose Without Thorns

by Melephs_Hat348



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Action, Angst, Anxiety, Black Eagles route, Byleth has a personality and it's not just 'emotionless and aloof', Cats (briefly), Depression, Dialogue Heavy, Eventual Smut, F/F, Humor, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Romance, Self-Esteem Issues, Slow Burn, Spoilers, War, corresponding game ch will be noted at the beginning of each ch in the work for spoilers' sake, i mean it's fe3h what did you expect
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2021-01-27 11:07:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 14,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21391135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melephs_Hat348/pseuds/Melephs_Hat348
Summary: A portrayal of the mutual teaching between a socially awkward mess of a professor and her insecure student who constantly wears an unhealthy facade of confidence, against a backdrop of politics, war, and strife....I feel like something else should be here, but I can't think of anything that isn't stupid. Clearly I used all my writing brain cells on the fic and left none for advertising it.
Relationships: Caspar von Bergliez/Linhardt von Hevring (mentioned), Dorothea/My Unit | Byleth
Comments: 6
Kudos: 57





	1. Meeting the Black Eagles

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! I'm flattered that you decided to check this out. Here's a bunch of context:
> 
> FE3H has been great. Given the fanart, I had expected to romance Edelgard. Spoilers, I, uh, didn't, because I guess my personality doesn't mesh well with hers. Instead...well, let's just say Dorothea happened.
> 
> Not positive how long the work will be. 15 chapters are set in stone, so perhaps about 15k words. The chapters will usually be inspired by events in the game, whether they be battles, conversations, or simply something connected to a plot point, so, spoilers. (See tags.) It diverges more from game-inspired stuff as time goes on.
> 
> This will probably not be my only FE3H fanfic, though it will be my first and longest. For those who care, expect me to make some gay shit that's less angsty in the future.
> 
> Suggestions, reactions, questions, and basically anything else you can do with words in the comments are appreciated. Enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth meets her students. It's certainly something. She tries in vain to subvert the intent of this fic by not looking for someone to crush on, but she fails miserably. I wonder how that happened. Occurs during early Moon 4 (Chapter 1 in-game, I think? Either that or late in the Prologue).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First chapter. Not much to say about it, actually. Just a lot of introductory stuff. It also ends up sort of following my train of thought when I played the game. Enjoy!

As Byleth entered the classroom, she found that all her students, including Edelgard, had already congregated around the middle; she caught a glimpse of what seemed like impatience on a few faces before the group recognized her presence. _ Did Seteth notify them in some form or other? _ The faces focused on her, and though her feet brought her forwards, she would much rather they be oriented in the other direction, disregarding what that would mean for her ability to walk.

“Wait, so _ you’re _ our new teacher?” said a boy with a small aqua mohawk — Caspar, if she was remembering correctly? “Didn’t see that coming.”

“Caspar. Isn’t that a bit rude?”

“You know it’s pointless to expect politeness from him,” a green-haired student with heavy eyelids said. This one’s name Byleth couldn’t recall offhand. “It will be a pleasure to learn from you, professor. Now, if you’ll excuse me….” He slipped away towards the back of the classroom, near the entrance, stifling a yawn.

The newly-instated professor would likely have been more fazed (internally, at least), but her mind was on other things than this lethargic pupil — namely, the girl who had spoken before him, who she was certain was Dorothea, if Edelgard’s physical description of her earlier was correct. _ One crush at a time, Byleth_, she told herself, _ and don’t leer at her so directly. _

“U-uh! Don’t — please don’t stare at me like that,” said the shorter girl beside Dorothea. “And, um, please don’t...talk to me too much, either….” She was alreading inching away slowly.

Dorothea seemed not to have noticed who it was that Byleth had actually been staring at. “I’m sorry your first time meeting us is so chaotic,” she said, giving her an apologetic smile.

“Yes, normally they are not this unruly,” said Edelgard.

“They are, however, still rather unruly most days,” the one Byleth knew to be Edelgard’s advisor said. “To be designated to control the clamor? I don’t envy you.”

A proper-looking student with orange hair shook his head. “We can work together to maintain order. Is that all right, Professor? You appear to be similar in age to us; I hope you do not mind if we treat each other as equals.”

“Of course. I may be...rather inexperienced as a teacher, but I can’t imagine that any success would come from dictatorship.”

Though the short bushy-haired girl had her gaze downturned, at this, her posture seemed to relax just slightly. Ferdinand nodded. “That is good to hear.”

“Yes, your words are deserving respect,” agreed a girl with a braid that struck Byleth as simultaneously fanciful and unruly. “You have a gut to be saying this.”

“She means you have guts,” Dorothea clarified. “It would be impossible for someone so slim and attractive to have a gut beneath that academy uniform.”

_ Don’t do that. For my sanity, please. _

“Ah. Yes. That is what I am meaning. I give apologies.”

“No, it’s all right. I take no offense.”

Edelgard cleared her throat softly. “On a related note, Professor, I would be pleased if you could treat me in the same manner as the rest of your students. I may be in line for the Adrestian throne, but I am to be your pupil the same as the others.”

“Oh, no, I understand. I hadn’t planned to give you — to display any special treatment.” She noticed the clock on the far wall. “Oh! Uh, I’d love to...stay here for a little while longer to get to know everyone, names and such, but there’s still a lot of orientation left that I need from Seteth and the other professors. Unless the Archbishop alters the tentative schedule, your regularly scheduled classes should resume...next Monday? Sorry. I’ll know for certain by tomorrow.”

Making her exit as composed as possible, Byleth set off towards Seteth’s office, Edelgard beside her as a guide. “You seem to be as well-principled as the Archbishop believes,” she said. “I hope that will also extend to your performance. I have high expectations for you as our teacher.”

“Expectations that I will strive to meet,” Byleth responded.

The princess was silent for a moment. Then, “I promise that they will behave better once the novelty fades. You seemed rather distressed.”

“Oh — no, honestly, it’s fine. They’re individuals, and if my time as Jeralt’s trainee has told me anything about teaching, it would be that I must treat all students as such.”

“Regardless, you may have a...significant task ahead of you. I recommend that you approach it as such.”

Byleth nodded. “Noted.”

“Can you make it the rest of the way? I believe I have to be off, myself,” she said.

“I think so. If I need directions, I should be able to ask. Have a good afternoon.”

“You as well.”

_ However did you manage to hold a conversation with _ her _ better than you did with the entire class? _ asked Sothis. _ Isn’t she your crush? _

_ I honestly have no idea, _ Byleth thought. _ I certainly would have failed if it had been Dorothea. _

She paused. Her focus oscillated between the two: Edelgard. Dorothea. Edelgard. Dorothea. Edelgard…. Then she wiped a hand down her face. _ Goddess. At least that makes it simpler. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As far as updates are concerned, I have the pre-timeskip chapters all drafted, so I can say more or less for certain that I'll be posting the chapters once per two days. If I don't finish writing the work by the time that I post all of those, I'll put it on brief hiatus until the post-timeskip chapters are all drafted. Then I'll start it back up once I do finish, of course. See ya soon!
> 
> (Also, I'm going to put up chapter two immediately so that I can make sure that the summaries and notes I've made for the work as a whole go to the work as a whole and not to the first chapter.)


	2. Looking to the Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth learns of the first obstacle to her crush and also tries to said crush. I mean, what self-respecting asocial mess would? Occurs during early Moon (Chapter 2 in-game).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First I stole from the "Meeting the Black Eagles" cutscene, now I steal from Dorothea's C Support with F!Byleth. Well, at least I didn't call this chapter "F!Byleth/Dorothea C Support." Ew.
> 
> Short and sweet. A bit more setting the scene here. I think I'll just let you enjoy the humor. Well, I hope it's humor. And that you enjoy it.

“...course, you’ll want to see me again, won’t you?”

It was clear even from under his helmet the color of the knight's face. “Uh, yes! I’d love to.”

“Until we meet again, then, sweetie.”

Dorothea turned — and Byleth, realizing too late that she was clearly visible, found herself facing her.

“Oh. Hello, Professor. Were you watching me?”

“That...was how things turned out, yes,” she replied, trying to avoid blushing. Or glaring unintentionally, with Sothis laughing. “That’s…um, the one from yesterday? I would assume?”

Dorothea sighed. “No...he’s new.”

“...Oh. I see.”

_ You truly do not know how to carry a conversation, do you? _ Sothis smirked.

_ If you interrupt it, it’s just going to get worse, _ Byleth responded.

Clearly, Dorothea took the silence to mean something other than that her professor was talking to a pseudo-imaginary girl. “Look, I know what I’m doing, all right? I’m looking to the future. My life of fame as a songstress will end eventually, and I want to have something more than what I have now going into that stage of my life.”

“Of course. Any school is a reasonable place to find...potential companions for the future.”

“You know, you should think about that too. I don’t know how old you are, but beauty won’t last forever either, even if you _ are _ absolutely gorgeous.”

_ Don’t do that. _ “Thank you, but really, I’m not...any of that. And, well, I don’t know a woman who isn’t anxious about getting older, including me.”

Dorothea’s sympathetic expression morphed into a sort of surprise when Byleth finished. “Really? I wouldn’t have guessed you were the type. Anyway, though, you understand how vital this is for me, right? I need to find someone to take care of me while I still can, and I can’t have you getting in my way.”

“I — Of course I understand. I mean, as long as it’s important to you, I wouldn’t think of stopping you. And besides,” she said, smiling a bit feebly, “you ought to know by now that my weakness is telling people off.”

“I do know that. Well, as long as you aren’t stopping me. Unless….” The mischievous look forming on her face simultaneously worried and stimulated Byleth. “Unless, perhaps, _ you’d _ like to take care of me when I get older. How about it, Professor? The rest of your life full of quality time with little old me?”

_ Goddess. _ Byleth put her head in one hand, trying in vain to look exasperated while hiding her face. “You realize I’m your teacher, don’t you?”

“Oh, relax. It was just a little tease.” She paused. “Are you really that embarrassed? Gosh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“No...it’s fine. I don’t know why I....”

_ Of course you do, _ Sothis said, smiling.

_ No, I don’t! I definitely don’t! _

“It’s okay. Really. But if you do swing that way...I bet I can find you someone who’s interested.”

“Let’s, uh, put that plan on hold for the moment.” Sothis was in silent hysterics.

“Well, you know where to find me if you’re up for it. I don’t want to keep you. See you later...Professor.”

She waltzed off, and, as per usual, Byleth caught herself staring.

_ I like her, _Sothis said.

_ I’d...rather not talk about it. _


	3. Visions of Catastrophe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth faces a possibility she is not likely to forget. Occurs at the end of Moon 5 (Chapter 2 in-game).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, I think I posted this more or less on time!
> 
> First combat sequence. You may notice more shameless borrowing in terms of pre-battle dialogue, but I finally stop doing that once the battle starts. A fusion of action, humor, and mortal terror — so, basically, Fire Emblem?
> 
> Anyway, enjoy! Next chapter should be up on the 14th.

“Is everyone prepared?” Byleth asked. “This is your first truly serious battle. I know I don’t need to remind you of the stakes.”

“Hell yeah! Let’s get on with it,” said Caspar. 

“It’s clear that _ you’re _ prepared,” Linhardt said. “The professor was most likely referring to the rest of us. And, yes, if there is no avoiding it, I believe I am as ready as I can be.”

A silent chorus of nods and equivalent gestures rippled through the remainder of Byleth’s students.

“And I am of course prepared as well, Professor,” Edelgard appended. “Do you have a plan of action?”

“Well...nothing already formalized. Did you have any ideas?”

“I have received word of a back road towards the western side of the canyon,” Hubert said. “It would be prudent to make use of such an advantage.”

“All right. In that case, we should probably split into two groups after crossing the bridge here. Edelgard, I’ll leave the back road to you; Hubert, Linhardt, and Petra can follow you. That leaves Dorothea, Bernadetta, Caspar, and Ferdinand with me on the main trail. Workable? Any objections? I’ll be ashamed forever if I forgot someone, but tell me if I did.”

A determined silence.

(_Of course you would keep her with you, _ said Sothis, amused.

_ Not right now, Sothis,_ Byleth responded. _Please._)

“Great! Let’s head out, then,” Dorothea said, pulling out a tome.

Edelgard nodded. “Yes. Let us end this quickly.”

As the strongest in the class in terms of raw durability, Edelgard led the charge across the bridge, brandishing her axe expertly and with far more control than Byleth would have expected from someone of her stature. With follow-ups from Ferdinand and Petra, the bridge’s defensive force diminished quickly, and a pair of spells from Hubert to exploit the thieves’ magical weaknesses felled the remainder with a burst of purple light.

“Edelgard, can you see any other bandits?”

“Not for awhile. There seems to be a small group guarding each of the routes. However, it is rather difficult to see.”

Byleth nodded. “You should be clear to lead your forces westward, then.”

“As you wish.” Beckoning to her compatriots, Edelgard branched off, leading her group across the rocky flats towards the more weakly guarded region.

Byleth pivoted around to face her own squadron. “Caspar? Ferdinand? Could one of you scout the way forward?”

“I’ve got — ”

“You can count — ”

They both stopped midsentence. “Uh, I’ll do it,” said Caspar.

“Ferdinand, you can back him up,” Byleth added, noticing his deflated expression. “You two can follow for support at range, Dorothea, Bernadetta.”

“And you?”

“I’ll make certain our backs are covered.” She glanced across the terrain at Caspar. “We’d better move before they get in over their heads.”

As the three of them caught up, Caspar caught the movement behind him and looked back. “Uh, my fists aren’t looking very effective here,” he yelled. “Any help?!”

“I can handle this, Professor,” Dorothea said before either of her nearby companions could say a word, and she strode forward, tome crackling.

“Dorothea, I don’t know if — ”

The mage let loose a ball of lightning, coursing through the air to strike the bandit nearest Caspar. Taking the full force of the blow with his armor, the bandit was paralyzed for a split second before counterattacking with a diagonal sword slash, slicing cleanly down the front of Dorothea’s robes and immediately drawing far more blood than Byleth had been prepared to see. The scream sounded like it was underwater — no, rather, everything did. Thoughts swirled in her brain, the current spinning them too fast to process anything, and before she knew it the scene was reverting, time rewinding until — 

“...aren’t looking very effective here. A — ”

Byleth was already there, her sword flicking the bandit’s out of his hand and thrusting itself directly through the middle of the plate mail. She retracted it. The man fell. She was breathing hard.

“Uh...P-Professor?” asked Bernadetta.

Shakily, she took in her surroundings again and let the tunnel vision fade. “A...apologies.” She turned to the four of them, calming herself, unable to look at Dorothea without the event replaying in her head. “I just...thought I saw something that frightened me.”

“You looked damned savage. Scared _ me _ for a second there,” Caspar said.

“If we are all ready, I think we should keep going.” Ferdinand readied his spear. “Edelgard’s team might rout the rest of the bandits before we can.”

Byleth nodded. “Onward, then.”

Once more, the haunting scene flashed in her eyes. _ I will never let a single one of you die. You have my word. _


	4. Swordplay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth spends some time trying to succeed as a normal professor. Occurs around Moon 6 or 7 (Chapter 3 or 4 in-game).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (It would look lame if I put parentheses around the "S" in the title so I'm just going to point at it and call it humorous.)
> 
> Something unique! Finally. We're also definitely done with setting the scene now, so we can get into the meat of the relationship. Here we see Byleth making actual progress. Turns out you stop being so anxious around someone when you interact with them enough. Or...not? I honestly can't tell.
> 
> Also, let me give a disclaimer: no, I don't know anything about swordplay, for battle or for entertainment. Neither should any of the words in this chapter be considered even a good start for advice on a̶n̶y̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶a̶t̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶ how to wield a blade.
> 
> That should be about it. Enjoy!

Dorothea entered the room for individual instruction perfectly on time — Byleth wasn’t entirely certain from her inconsistent punctuality whether this was normal or not, but she appreciated it nonetheless. She couldn’t decide if her being early or being late was more problematic, and she didn’t exactly have the time to bother with such preoccupations when her student was right in front of her.

“You called, Professor?”

“You say that as if this isn’t a routine act. You’re only here for the usual private instruction. Unless...I didn’t schedule something else at the same time, did I?”

Dorothea shrugged. “Not as far as I know. You read into words quite a lot, don’t you?”

“You’re not wrong about that. I’d love to say it’s helpful, but sometimes...it just isn’t. Anyway. Um. You were hoping to get a handle on wielding a sword, correct?”

“It would be nice to be able to use something more than my tomes at close range. Also, have you seen Manuela’s sword dances? They’re really amazing.”

“I haven’t. Maybe I should ask her about that. Fortunately for you, though, I know what a sword is.” She ran the sentence through her head again. “Well, I know a bit more than what a sword is, but you know what I mean.”

Dorothea smiled.

“In that case, I think the best thing is to head to the training grounds. If it’s combat we’re talking about, we would probably do best with actual visual explanation.”

“Then, by all means, let’s go.”

Byleth nodded — a bit more curtly than she would have liked — and escorted her student out.

_ If you do not want to stumble all over yourself in embarrassment, you should start talking, _ Sothis said.

_ Good point. _

“So...swords. I’m going to skip some of the most basic things, since I know you have at least that much understanding of what swords are. I mean, you do use one already. The important thing, and the thing you’ll need to keep in mind whenever you’re wielding a sword, is weight. Swords are usually not lightweight, though this is important for all sizes — light ones might be particularly difficult because they’re weird. Depending on exactly how the sword is designed, you will need to account for how heavy it is, where exactly it’s heaviest, and how you can both maximize the strength of your swing and minimize the effort you have to make in the process.” She paused. “Huh. I wonder if that’s why Linhardt prefers using swords.”

“Manuela did always seem very graceful on stage with a sword. I bet she spent hours working on balance.”

Byleth nodded. “Yeah. Actually, that could be a very helpful way of accustoming oneself to a sword, especially if training bores you. You should talk to her about that. I, on the other hand, can’t help you with anything related to dancing, so we’re going to stick with...other methods, I guess.”

“Really? Not a dancer?”

“Well, being a mercenary isn’t exactly glamorous. We don’t get paid for aesthetic, either.”

“Aw, that’s too bad. Maybe I’ll return the favor and teach you someday.”

The professor’s face heated. “Maybe. But right now, we have...a more essential task, and, I predict, one that will prove rather more successful.”

“Don’t put yourself down like that, or I might have to do it and prove you wrong. But I’m listening. How do you account for weight?”

“Let’s see…. I think the first thing that you ought to know would be some elementary stances so that you can start to ingrain the movement in battle. The most fundamental one would have to be….”

The training session proved far longer and much more successful than Byleth had believed it would. She worked for well over an hour with Dorothea explaining and performing the basic techniques. And, for some reason that she wasn’t entirely able to determine, she seemed to be making considerably more progress in teaching than she had been in previous days. After about thirty minutes past the original ending time, they finally drew to a close, both spent.

“That was a new side of you, Professor,” Dorothea said.

“In what way?”

“Well, compared to how you tend to hold conversations, that was a lot smoother. Didn’t you notice?”

“I...hm. I noticed something, at least, I guess. If I had noticed, though, I think I would have started stumbling again.”

“You’re not stumbling now.”

Byleth thought about it. “I suppose not. It’s likely just an anomaly, though.”

“Oh, come now, you don’t need to be so pessimistic. I offered to teach you something in return; perhaps that something could be not being so awkward. I’ve had experience with Bern; maybe I could even invite her, too.”

“It might sound ironic, but I’m afraid such a seminar would just exacerbate my discomfort.”

A mischievous, seductive smile slid over her lips. “Not even a one-on-one? Just the two of us?”

Byleth’s nerves fluttered, and she put a hand to her face. “Okay, now you’re just trying to get me worked up.”

“Is it working?”

“...We should be heading back. I have some more things I have to take care of.”

“More important than me?”

“If you don’t stop that, eventually I’m going to fall for you, and no one is going to like that because I’m certain to break something when I hit the ground which will be highly inconvenient for all of us.”

Realizing she had forgotten to first process what she had said, Byleth paused for a moment, and then froze. Sothis burst into laughter in the background.

Dorothea laughed, too, though. “Oh, Professor, you’re so precious. I’ll leave you be. See you sometime soon!” She waved as she exited the training grounds.

The professor waved back sheepishly. Sothis’ amusement was dying down, and she spoke, though her voice was a bit shaky from laughing.  _ Sometimes, I do not know what to do with you, human. _

_ I’m offended. I thought that went pretty well. _

_ It also appeared normal to me, until you made the mistake of saying that. _

_ Look, if she doesn't already know, there’s nothing I can accidentally say that will tip her off. I’ve said worse. _

_ Hm. I cannot say I am used to this sort of optimism from you. _

_ I’d say it’s more like defeatism. But you’re close. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter up on the sixteenth. Thanks for reading!


	5. Soul Gazing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorothea opens up a little to her teacher. Occurs during Moon 8 (Chapter 5 in-game).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may notice the chapters getting a little longer. You may be glad to hear that, as far as I've written, the earlier chapters are the shortest ones. So that's a thing.
> 
> It's gotten to the point where you can see the most notable issues faced by each of them reflected here. I had to spend a lot more time mapping out character arcs than I have done before, probably just because I wanted it to be as accurate as possible. (Actually I generally did way more research as a whole than was strictly necessary, lol, oops.) This chapter includes a little bit of progress in their development, even when much of its purpose seems to be voicing a problem that hasn't been solved.
> 
> With that said, enjoy! Update notes will be posted at the bottom (as usual (I hope "as usual" is true, that I haven't written such notes at the top here, but regardless, that should be the standard now)).
> 
> P.S. This is modeled quite strongly on the pair's B Support conversation, so if you want to avoid knowing what it's all about, then consider yourself notified.

“How does workload transfer between classes, exactly?” asked Lysithea. “I doubt I’m learning the same things that you have been teaching your other students. Is there any reading I should catch up on?”

Byleth considered. “Hm…I might refer you to a couple of texts you could use to familiarize yourself with what we’ve been learning recently, but since only so much of my curriculum is strictly cumulative, you shouldn’t have to worry about it much — unless it’s somehow affecting either your grades or your performance, that is. I can get back to you on relevant titles later today.”

“Aha! A successful interaction, by all accounts. Please direct me to those as soon as possible.”

“Certainly. I’ll see you in class,” she said as Lysithea hastened off.

_Aha. Look who it is, _said Sothis.

Before Byleth could wonder who it was, the voice spoke up behind her. “Hi, Professor. You’re in top form today, aren’t you? You handled that like a pro.”

“Hello, Dorothea.” She should have guessed. “And no, that was just an outlier. I assume something brings you here, correct?” She motioned generally around her door frame.

“Not particularly,” she replied. “Just noticed you on my way by.”

Byleth looked at her. “You’re sure?”

Dorothea blinked. Then she sighed. “Actually...can we talk for a bit?”

“Of course.” The professor guided her into her quarters, closing the door behind her. “—Sorry. I was assuming — um — did you want some privacy?”

“Yes, thank you.”

Byleth summoned up as much maturity as she could manage, then faced her student directly. “So, what did you want to talk about?”

She looked a bit uncomfortable. “Well, to be honest…. Oh, I’m just going to have to come out and say it. I...sometimes, you’re just a little difficult to be around.”

Sothis stifled a giggle — and, for once, Byleth was partially grateful for the diversion.

Dorothea, apparently trying to find the right words, continued: “I know everything you do is intended to help your students. It’s not that I don’t understand. It’s just...that look you give me.”

“That...look?”

“You know the one. You — ” she laughed to herself a little — “you just did it, actually, earlier. That’s why I changed my mind back about mentioning it. It’s this look that...it’s like you’re seeing right through me.”

“Seeing through you? In what way?”

“Don’t worry; I know that you don’t mean anything bad by it. I guess I’m just self-conscious. … You know I’m a commoner, don’t you?”

Byleth nodded.

“Yeah. I’m...even by commoners’ standards, I don’t have much in my name. No land, no birthright, no Crest, no money to speak of…. Not much knowledge, either, on or off the battlefield. All I’ve ever really had has been my popularity as a songstress, so that’s what I’ve always clung onto. Even now that I’m here, I keep up the same act. And it works, for most people. But you...your gaze, it sort of seems like it passes through all that. I mean...even though you aren’t as socially apt as I am, when you do that, it’s as though you’re telling me how weak I really am.”

The professor processed this slowly. “So...you feel vulnerable because you think I’m accusing you of being weaker than me?”

“Well...yes, I guess so.”

“Then, the way I see it...we have a couple options. It might be difficult for me to stop giving you that look, since I don’t think it’s always conscious. I’d like to make you comfortable with yourself so that such a look doesn’t remind you of ways in which you feel lacking, and I promise, we will work on that, but it can’t be done very quickly. Something we _ could _ do now would be to talk about your worries in enough depth that it isn’t problematic for me to know them, but that’s only in the case that you like the idea.”

Dorothea adjusted a lock of hair. “I...um, I appreciate the offer, but I don’t think it will help as much as I’d like. That’s not to say I don’t want to talk about these things with you, but...it doesn’t seem as if it would work.”

“No no, I understand. I guess the other thing, then, is…” and a rueful look overtook her lips as she spoke, “...reciprocation.”

“Ooh,” said Dorothea. “That could be pretty good, actually. So what kind of secret are you going to tell me?” Then she smiled wider. “No, better, let me choose. I know you’ve got some social problems, but maybe a physical weakness…. Are you ticklish?”

Byleth blocked out her thoughts. “Uh, I don’t think that’s a very good idea; you would probably do better to try something else….”

“Now you have me really hooked! Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle.”

“Ah, wait — ”

But it was too late; Dorothea’s fingers brushed her side and started moving. Byleth was frozen. She had never entirely understood the concept of ‘tickling.’ Jeralt had tried it when she was younger, once or twice, but to no avail at all. This, unfortunately, meant that the only thing she felt now was mortified arousal. Staying as still as she possibly could, she struggled to avoid opening her mouth, knowing that failing would lead to something coming out that she strongly desired to be kept inside.

“No? How about here?”

_ Goddess, no, Dorothea, not there! Have you completely forgotten how gay I am?! _

For far longer than Byleth had thought she could bear, Dorothea kept searching in vain. Eventually, evidently puzzled, she asked without looking up, “Um...Professor? Why aren’t you reacting to anything? It’s weird.”

“W...will you...give up...then?”

Dorothea glanced back up at Byleth’s face. “Have you been holding it in this whole time? But you haven’t even been shaky.” She stood up. Then a grin of realization spread over her face. “Aw, are you embarrassed because you don’t have any ticklish spots? That’s actually adorable. Okay. I’ll stop. I swear, though. Sometimes it’s like your heart isn’t even beating.”

_ Well…. _ “Sorry. I guess that…didn’t help too much, did it?”

“Oh, no, this is pretty good, actually. The next time you gaze into my soul, all I need to do is try to tickle you, and then you'll be uncomfortable too.”

“...If at all possible, I’d personally rather you…didn’t. But, in all seriousness, I’m no more perfect than you are. We all have our own issues. It’s just...how we hide them, I guess, that’s different.”

Dorothea nodded, contemplative. “Thank you, Professor. I think...I think I really needed this. Until later, then. Tomorrow in class?”

“Tomorrow in class.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter up in two days. See you then! I've been making good progress on the post-timeskip chapters, so you shouldn't have to worry about the updates pausing to give me time to finish things up.


	6. The Battle of the Eagle and Deer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Battle of the Eagle and Lion, plus antics, plus a deer, minus the vast majority of the constituents of the lion. Occurs at the end of Moon 10 (Chapter 7 in-game).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, uh, unfortunately for Blue Lions fans, I kind of forgot to write much of anything about Dimitri's house. I guess that's what happens with a third-person limited viewpoint. If it's any consolation, I probably would have butchered the characterization if I had integrated them more, as I don't know many of them that well.
> 
> Here we have a chapter that hopefully succeeds in being both relaxed and high-energy. And that's about it, actually. So, uh, enjoy!

“You know, Gronder Field is part of House Bergliez’s territory,” Caspar said. “The largest field in Fódlan. It’s so big that the grain sustains everyone in the Empire.” He paused. “Uh. Hopefully we don’t destroy it all.”

“The field was decided to be the most suitable location for the Battle of the Eagle and Lion this year,” said Hubert. “We will have to make do.”

“What would be your approach to the battle, Professor?” asked Edelgard.

“I’m always a fan of a bit of tactical scheming,” she replied. “But our goal is domination, not overall success, so battlefield politics aren’t exactly the most viable strategy. Which house was it that was gifted initial occupation of the ballista?”

“This year it is the Blue Lions,” said Lysithea.

“Okay. So our probable course of action would be to brute force our way to the ballista — Bernadetta, you would be the one to make use of it — and corral the two houses in such a way that we are not being attacked from both sides. If either one seeks the other first, we will have to direct our attention to the aggressor.”

Hubert nodded. “Reasonable enough.”

“Last thing: groups. Edelgard, you and Ferdinand can lead the attack on the stronghold; Linhardt, Hubert, and Petra can follow. Make sure to protect Bernadetta once the ballista is accessible. The rest of you, come with me. It looks like we may need to keep Claude’s forces from migrating too far south. On a different note, though, how is everyone feeling?” asked Byleth. “It’s the first time since the mock battle that all three houses are competing, after all.”

Sylvain grinned. “I’m doing pretty well. The ladies love nothing more than a winner, and you’re the winning house from last time. If we emerge victorious, they might force me into hiding with their desire.”

“Will the other houses be looking for revenge? I don’t know if I could handle that many enemies,” Bernadetta said. 

“But if yes, that is a good thing to us,” Petra replied. “We can be fighting them and not be having them fighting each other.”

“Yeah, but….”

“Don’t worry so much. It’s not life-or-death this time,” Linhardt said, yawning.

“That depends on whether you put in the effort,” Byleth responded, examining her sword meaningfully. Dorothea suppressed a giggle.

“Ugh, all right. You know I’ll do whatever you need.”

“Our strength is clearly superior,” said Hubert. “So, assuming Linhardt does not fail to care, if we do happen to lose, the fault will lie entirely with you, Professor.”

Ferdinand faced her. “If you’re not confident in yourself, just leave the job to me.”

“...Thank you for the…votes of confidence, but I believe I’m capable enough. How about you, Flayn? This is your first battle, after all.”

“I’m quite excited, actually! I shall give it my all.”

“Good to hear.” Byleth glanced at the hill upon which Seteth and the Archbishop were positioned, catching sight of the hawk in the sky just as it cried out. “The competition should be starting just about now. I’ll leave the commencement to you, Edelgard.”

“Thank you. Steel yourselves, everyone. Our flag will soon grace Gronder Field!”

Seteth seemed to say something, and knights rose the commencement banner.

“Forward! Now!”

Byleth signaled her troops to follow as she darted off to the western bridge. “All right. Now, with cavalry and an archer by the bridge, it would be best to take out their range first, and then advance with — Goddess, and Caspar’s already gone. Sylvain, can you…?”

“As you wish,” he said, smiling, and sped up his pace to catch his housemate.

“Ugh. I really shouldn’t have brought him with us.”

“You should thank Caspar later for taking him off your hands,” Dorothea said.

“We have to stick behind him regardless,” she replied. “He may be insufferable, but he’s a damn tough fighter.”

A thought crossed Dorothea’s mind, and she began to smile. “Just tell him you’re a lesbian. Maybe he’ll provide solidarity.”

“Don’t make me sick. Stomach acids tarnish metal.”

Flayn laughed. “I haven’t seen this side of you, Professor.”

“I’d rather show it when not engaged in combat normally, to be honest. We should really get there before those two mess something up. I’m counting on you for support if anything goes wrong, Flayn.”

“Of course.”

By the time Byleth, regretting her decision to protect the rear of their squad, made it over the bridge, the unconscious form of Ignatz lay on the ground beside two toppled cavalry units. She stepped over them, irritated. She could see the Sylvain and Caspar in the distance, approaching Lorenz and Hilda. “Well. Looks like we’re backing them up.”

“Aren’t you going to tell me to do anything?” asked Lysithea.

“I _ intended _ to have you wreak havoc on the physical fighters from behind our companions who can take their hits. But since that’s not working out, want to make do with me?”

“Let’s go, then!”

Byleth nodded, then smiled at the rest of them. “Try to keep up.”

“Well, look who it is,” Lorenz said, mounted on his steed with composure as she neared him. “Hoping to interrupt our seizing of the stronghold? Well, I regret to inform you that your poorly-executed plan has left you with casualties already.”

The professor glanced sideways. There was a form on the ground. “Damn it, Caspar, I’m not surprised at all. Get off your high horse, Lorenz, or I’ll quite literally remove you from it myself.” She whirled forwards, destabilizing his lance with a flick of the glowing whipsword and then vaulting off the side of the horse to ram his head with the flat part of her blade.

“You...pesky little…” he made out before collapsing.

Catching him before he hit the ground, Byleth gazed up at the ballista, squinting against the sun. Edelgard seemed to be there, as was Bernadetta, evidently operating it. The professor raised an arm in a wave. Bernadetta acknowledged her with a motion.

“That was...pretty cool,” Dorothea commented, startling her.

“Oh, please. It only looked good because of who I got rid of.”

“I disagree. But let’s keep going. Flayn, can you tend to Sylvain? Lysithea, why don’t you go too, since he’s getting dangerously close ”

“Certainly,” said Flayn. “Let us away.” Lysithea nodded, and they hurried to his aid.

“Meanwhile, I think we ought to reconvene with some of Edelgard’s troupe. Want to follow?”

“I’d love to.”

The battlefield was looking strongly in favor of the Black Eagles. Both of the other two houses had been contained into the northern half of the field, and Edelgard hadn’t lost a single person. Upon reaching Edelgard, Byleth looked back at their rivals. “Is there anything you need?” Byleth asked.

“Nothing different than what you seem to be doing,” she answered. “We can take care of Dimitri’s forces if you can rout Claude’s.”

“Simple enough. Let’s go, then, D—agh! Goddess damn it!” She reached over with her right hand, sheathing her sword, to grab the shaft of the arrow embedded in her arm. “That’s not pleasant.”

“Don’t worry, Professor; I can take care of this for you.” Dorothea grasped Byleth’s upper arm with one hand and took the arrow’s shaft in the other. “Three, two — ” and she pulled it out, eliciting an unplanned yelp from her teacher.

“You didn’t count down all the way,” she protested.

“It helps. Let me heal you.” Pressing her fingers gently near the wound, she channelled a spell until the bright light began to feel pleasant to Byleth’s skin.

When Dorothea was finished, the professor inclined her head, partly in gratitude, partly to hide her face. “...Thanks.”

“...You’re welcome. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to give that archer a piece of my mind,” she said, turning around quickly.

“Hey, don’t leave me behind — ”

Byleth rushed after her, sword readied, but Dorothea’s relatively minimal time engaging in any form of combat left her with ample spells, allowing her to surround herself with crackling and the faint smell burnt air. She had already felled two opponents unfortunate enough to be wearing full sets of conductive metal armor, and by the time the archer that had targeted Byleth fell, the professor had not even caught up to her yet.

Claude, evidently pressing for his last stand, approached Dorothea calmly while others of the Golden Deer surged past her towards the center of the fray. “Don’t get too ahead of yourself,” he said. “I really would hate to defeat you in shame after such a streak. Dimitri’s doing pretty well for himself over there; there’s no strategic value in exerting yourself stamping out the weaker side.”

“I’m sorry to say it, Claude, but this one’s personal.”

“Ah. Well.”

Claude nocked an arrow, another held vertically with his last two fingers while the first three managed the bowstring. Dorothea manifested another ball of lightning, spiraling towards him. He aimed the arrow rather farther right than the mage had expected; in fact, it absorbed the bolt in its path just to her right. The other arrow took its place with startling speed, all Byleth was able to do was catch her as the arrow lodged itself in the songstress’s thigh.

“Deja vu,” the professor said. “More eager than usual, are we?”

“Hush. Now put me down and win for us.” She seemed to be avoiding her teacher’s eyes.

Byleth sighed, smiling. “Just have your vulnerary.”

Laying her on the ground and standing back up to her full height, she looked back at Claude. “I hate to say it, but this is going to be personal as well.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Come at me, then.”

The Black Eagles won decisively.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter up on the 20th. See you then!


	7. Oblivion and Serendipity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth forgets something important. Occurs on the 25th of Moon 12 (Chapter 9 in-game).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, why did I give Sylvain a speaking part? I wasn't even planning on writing anything about him.
> 
> I feel like, in all the social awkwardness described in the past, I've pointedly forgotten to implement any romantic awkwardness. I'm glad I'm finally getting my chance here. The fact that, in a game where most of your interactions with whichever love interest you plan to choose, even the early romance-specific event isn't definitively romantic (perhaps it varies depending on who you choose, but I'm pretty sure it mostly doesn't). So, I didn't write it like the way it was written in the game. Enjoy!
> 
> P.S. You may need to know the older meaning of the word “oblivion” for the title to make sense, because there's unfortunately no word for “the state of having forgotten something” besides that. Finally, something I can blame on the English language and not myself.

“Hello, Professor. How have you been doing for yourself? Snagged a dance or two with a hot guy?”

_ Goddess, please tell me how to get rid of him. _“Sylvain, I’m a lesbian, and you know I can’t dance. That’s sort of why I’m on the outskirts of the ball room. The only pleasant part of this evening has been the food.”

_ Is that what you believe? _ asked Sothis. _ You appeared to enjoy dancing with Claude well enough. _

_ Well, Claude is great, and that was before...all the bad thoughts. _

“Whoa, hey, you’re glancing over it like it doesn’t matter, but you just told me I’ve been prodding you for all these moons about something you’ve never been interested in, didn’t you?”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m not — I’m really not in the mood to talk right now.”

“You sure? It’s rare that you’re this gloomy, and I’m always happy to listen.”

Byleth gave Sylvain a dubious look. “Seriously. If there’s one person I would avoid speaking to in this situation, I imagine it’s you.”

“Well, suit yourself.” He turned away.

The professor rubbed her forehead. “I’m sorry. I’m being rude. I just...there are things that are affecting me more than I had thought they would.”

“...Like what?”

“Goddess, Sylvain, can you — are you able to keep a secret?”

“For you? Of course.”

“And — please, stop flirting.”

“Right. Sorry. I can keep a secret.”

Byleth took a breath. “I’m struggling a little...uh…romance-wise, that is...regarding a certain...musical woman, with a hat.”

“You’re gonna have to be a little — ohhhhh, nope, I got it.” He smiled. “What seems to be the problem? A quarrel? An impasse?”

“...No. It’s all in my own head. I just haven’t seen her at all. And I know that could bother me for other reasons, but from my point of view, it’s not all that difficult to imagine what she might be doing on this particular evening.”

“Hm.” Sylvain looked thoughtful for a moment. “And she didn’t say anything to you?”

“Not as far as I know. Which...you know, doesn’t...doesn’t help.”

He nodded.

Then Byleth remembered something, and she swore.

“What? Do you know something after all?”

“If anyone asks, can you cover for me?”

“Sure, I guess.”

“Great. I’ve got to go course-correct for being an idiot.” She hurried as stealthily as possible out of the building.

_ What _ did _ you remember, exactly? _ Sothis asked.

_ Do you remember when I found that letter Dorothea had left me? _

_ ...I do not think I do. _

_ Right. You were probably asleep. Well, I was getting all prepared to open and read it, but then Petra was at my door wanting my help, and after that I think I completely forgot. Ugh, what a stupid way to ruin a friendsh — oh, shit. Sothis, what if it was something important? Something really, really important? If somehow she isn’t...shacking up with some random knight, what would make her skip the _ ball _ ? _

_ If it were truly that dire, why would you think she would tell no one but you? _

_ Ugh. That hurts, Sothis. But you have a point. _

_ All I mean to say is, you are almost certainly worrying too much. If your own common thoughts are enough to prove these distressed ones wrong, I think you need not fear so much. _

_ You’re...probably right. _

Byleth’s rapid footfalls quieted somewhat as she slowed, gazing for a long moment at the Goddess Tower.

_ You don’t think…? _

_ I would know no better than you. _

She looked at the Goddess Tower. She looked back towards the path to her quarters. She looked at the Goddess Tower again. _ It’s worth a try, even just to keep me from wondering about it later. _

Byleth entered the Goddess Tower.

“Oh! Professor!” cried a familiar voice. “You made it after all! I was beginning to think you weren’t coming.”

Byleth looked at Dorothea, a peculiar expression (or combination of a few) forming on her face. She let out something between a chuckle and a sigh, putting her face in her hands while trying to suppress the laughter.

“Professor? ...Are you okay?”

“Yes. I’m doing fine, thank you.” She tried to compose herself. “You...mentioned coming here in...in the letter, right?”

“Yeah, I did. Why?”

“Well, I, uh, completely forgot to read it.”

“Then — ” she stifled a laugh of her own — “how did you get here?”

The professor did her best to explain (avoiding, of course, the parts about Sothis and about romance).

“Well, damn, Professor, that’s...something. I was going to say it was a shame that you didn’t come to see me on purpose, but...wow.”

“...What did you call me out here for, exactly, anyway? If you don’t mind me asking?”

“Oh, um...not much, actually. I mostly just wanted to see if you would come. And you did. So...thank you, I guess.”

“Thank my incredible instincts,” Byleth responded. “There’s no reason at all that I should have been able to make it, but I guess I did.”

Dorothea nodded. “It’s almost like fate.” She paused, allowing for a brief awkward silence, but then spoke again. “You know it’s been almost nine moons since you arrived?”

“Huh. You’re right. Somehow, it feels like it was much more recent.”

“You say that, but nine moons is quite a while. I bet you’ve found a special someone by now, huh?” Her patented smile was spread across her face.

“Oh. Uh, I wouldn’t say that.”

“Denying it, eh?” She looked at the professor more intensely. The smile was still there, but to Byleth, it looked...off. “That’s a clear sign of a secret. I won’t pry, though; don’t worry.”

“What about you? Are your...strategies yielding any results?”

She blinked. “Oh. You know. Nothing lasting.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve rarely heard of worthy wom—significant others that come from one-night stands. —No offense meant to your methods.”

“No...you’re right. The odds seem better when you meet more people, but...I don’t know.” Dorothea sighed. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to leave you down like that, but I do...have to get going. Maybe we can share a dance later?”

“I...yeah. I’d like that. You know I’m not a dancer, though.”

At this, the songstress smiled. “Anyone can be a dancer if they’re with me. See you later?”

“See you later.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter to be posted on the 22nd. We're closing in on the end of the first half (well, there's probably more writing overall in this "half"). Until then!


	8. The Cause of Sorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth seeks catharsis after an emotionally difficult battle, and Dorothea is there to provide some. Occurs at the end of Moon 12 and the beginning of Moon 1 (Chapters 6 and 7 in-game).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We were going to get into angsty territory eventually. You knew it was coming. Here you are. 
> 
> While this spoils a minor bit of what I've written below, it's worth mentioning the way I address Edelgard here. Independent of how "right" her overall decisions in-game are, she says some things that don't get along well with grieving and/or depressed people. I can't say I'm a big fan of telling people to "get over it" or insulting them for not being thick-skinned enough is conducive to alienation. In serious situations, that can lead to suicide. Edelgard, having grieved so much and having become dead-set on ending the Church, simply can't fathom someone letting sorrow stall them. She may not know what having no hope does to a person. That's probably what made me eventually decide that, because of my own personality and issues, I couldn't manage romancing Edelgard. Which I'm kinda sad about considering her good qualities.
> 
> Anyway, rant/character study over. Regarding the chapter itself, there isn't actually much to say, except that you can probably see a change in Byleth's comfort level around Dorothea if you look hard enough. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> P.S. If I come up with a better title, I'll change it, but until then, the name of the chapter in-game is working. (You may not care this much, but if you do, suggestions would be appreciated.)

Petra crushed the final demonic beast’s reptilian neck, flattening it to the ground and stifling its primal roar of pain. “One more success.”

“Well done, everyone. Edelgard, feel free to lead them back. Jeralt and I need to investigate the chapel.”

“Why don’t you call him your dad, or ‘Father,’ or something, if you don’t mind me asking?” said Dorothea quietly.

Byleth shrugged. “Habit. It would be strange to start now.”

“I guess that’s true.”

“You should head back too. You can stay if you really want, but I don’t remember you having much interest in decrepit religious buildings.”

She hesitated. “...I’ll see you back at the monastery, then.”

“Likely earlier, but yes. Until then.”

Byleth hastened towards the chapel, Jeralt having already arrived at it.

“Anything of interest?” she asked, finding him picking around the entrance, his horse stationed not far away.

Jeralt spent another moment investigating, finally sighing and standing back up to face her. “Not a trace of evidence. I was hoping to find something that could link it to Remire, but…all that can be done at this point is theoretical.”

“Wait!”

Byleth turned, finding Monica hurrying up to the two of them.

“Another student?” said Jeralt.

“Hi, Captain. I’m sorry. I was just going to see if you might have picked up my weapon during the battle? I dropped it while everyone was fighting, and I can’t find it anywhere.”

Jeralt scratched the back of his head. “I can’t say as I took any weapons while I was on horseback, no. What kind of weapon was it?”

“Oh, sort of a dagger-type thing. It’s a little curved at the — oh! Actually, that’s it right there!” She motioned towards a sheathed weapon fastened to the captain’s belt.

He glanced down at it. “Really? That’s strange...I swear I never picked one up while fighting, but I don’t recognize this at all. Here you go.”

He passed the weapon over. Monica partially unsheathed it, assumedly to check that it was the right one. “Well, it’s mine, all right. No idea how it got there, but I guess it doesn’t matter in the end.”

“Fair enough. Run along now.”

“Thanks for the help, Captain!”

She pranced off past him, giggling a little. Then she twisted around, and the dagger curled itself through Jeralt’s back. He started, crumpling to his knees as a groan leaked out of his mouth.

“You’re just a pathetic old man,” she murmured, smiling. “How dare you get in the way of my brilliant plan.”

_ I — _

The world swirled around Byleth, too blurry to make out, a mixture of spilled paints rippling as time rewound.

“That’s strange...I swear I never picked one up while fighting, but I don’t recognize this at all.”

Byleth was already moving, her sword whipping out to its full length to strike Monica. Then, suddenly, a figure appeared in a flash of purple, countering the projectile with a magical barrier. Looking over, Monica’s expression grew confused, but she immediately withdrew a different weapon from her uniform and deftly impaled Jeralt, who had just turned towards them at the sudden noise.

“Why are you here?” Monica said.

“You must survive,” the figure responded, “if only because there is still a role that I require you to fulfill.” He grabbed hold of Monica, and they disappeared.

Byleth stood motionless for a long moment — long enough that Jeralt had collapsed to the ground by the time she had rushed over to him. She had to maneuver him to face her again, pulling his face up closer to hers in the process.

“It — looks like...I’m going to have to leave you now.”

His face was beaded with sweat. No — was that sweat? That one had come from —

Jeralt gazed up at her face, then smiled, looking to the side before closing his eyes. “To think that the first time I saw you cry, your tears would be for me.” He coughed. “It’s sad, and yet...I’m happy for it. … Thank you...kid.”

Jeralt let out a breath, the sound wet from blood. He didn’t take one back in.

It was raining. Byleth knew this from the raindrops sliding down Jeralt’s face. And yet the sun was searing on her back.

* * *

“Professor?”

“Dorothea?”

“May I come in?”

“Here. Just a moment.”

Byleth hastily stowed the mess on her bed and at her desk as neatly as possible before opening the door.

“What brings you my humble...room?”

Dorothea allowed for a quick smile at that, but she sobered. “I mostly wanted to check on you, actually. Have you been doing all right?”

“I mean, Edelgard expects me to have been all right since practically last Sunday, so I suppose I must be.”

Closing the door behind her, Dorothea sat down on the bed, inviting Byleth to do so as well — and she did. “Well, you know how Edie is. Progress-oriented and all.”

“It’s just that this is the first time I've ever been anything but completely prepared. For her to immediately warn that she'll go on without me....”

“She's a good person,” Dorothea replied, “but she's also a good leader. I’m not sure if she can fathom wasting time on something that's so...normal to her now. And then, even when she might be able to slow down, she's the type that doesn't see it as an option. But I’m not here to talk about her. How are you really feeling?”

Byleth was silent for a long moment. Then: “I…honestly don’t know. I mention Edelgard because I’ve already been trying to...ignore all of that for the sake of the Empire, but it just. You know. Doesn’t...work that way.”

“Yeah. I mean...when a person leaves your life, they’re replaced with...nothing. Even if you think that means it’s insignificant, you can’t avoid it, because you _ feel _ that sort of nothing.”

Another silence. Dorothea squeezed her teacher’s arm.

“There was so much he didn’t tell me.”

Dorothea nodded.

“Even the important things. He was always saying how difficult it was becoming to find time to speak with me. He told me to look in his office if he were to...if something were to happen. And, well, I found a journal of his, but...I can’t ask his journal what my mother was like. Goddess, I can’t ask his journal if it wants to go _ fishing _ with me, Dorothea.”

“I know, Professor. I know. Keep going.” She rested an arm on Byleth’s back. “Let it all out.”

“He was just so _ slow _ to be open, even about things that didn’t need to be secrets. Everything he must have wanted to say, or to do, some day, it’s...it’s all gone now. I don’t even know why they killed him. Obstructing some evil plan, being an undercover hero? I...Dorothea, I should have asked him. I should have asked so much. Maybe I could’ve even, who knows, stop — stopped him.” Her voice broke. “It’s too — too fucking late to realize all that now.”

Tears again. From just the past week, she already knew their signature sting acutely, knew the frustrating shudders that accompanied them, knew that she was simply too weak to keep them from overtaking her — especially like this. So she cried.

“I’m — sorry.” It was hard to make out the words even after she had calmed down.

“What do you mean? There’s no reason to feel sorry.” Dorothea glanced around. “Do you need a handkerchief?”

“I — have one, th-thank you.” She took a breath, dabbing at her face with an overused cloth. “It’s just that this — is a t...truly irresponsible position for me as a p-professor.”

“Everyone has bad days, Professor,” Dorothea said, “especially when they’ve lost someone important. Honestly, if I had been just one more person you had to lie to about being fine, it would have really bothered me. I — I wanted to actually help.”

Byleth was able to form a shaky smile. “Well, for what i-it’s worth, you did.”

“Do you….” Dorothea paused, apparently uncertain. “Do you want to go have dinner someplace later today? Maybe that will help take your mind off of all this.”

She didn’t have the mental strength left to be flustered. “I…yeah. That would — that would be really nice.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter up in two days. Until then!


	9. A Sundering Incursion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Black Eagle Strike Force charges into battle against the defenders of Garreg Mach. Occurs during Moon 3 (Black Eagles Chapter 12 in-game).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The whole "choosing sides" thing was a difficult dilemma for me. On one hand, I felt no remorse for betraying Rhea; on the other, I felt terrible about betraying Seteth. It's hard when good people side with those who are your enemies. Especially when the particulars of your own cause are morally questionable.
> 
> Anyway, this marks the final chapter before the timeskip. I'll talk more about what that means in a couple days when the next chapter comes out, but you will probably notice a slight shift in the Byleth-Dorothea dynamic then. For now, enjoy some of that sweet sweet tragedy.

The constituents of the Black Eagle Strike Force stepped onto the grounds of the monastery — the battlegrounds, as Byleth would have to think of them now. Seteth saw them at once, and he shouted something not quite audible. Garreg Mach’s forces started forwards.

“Everyone knows the plan,” said the professor. “Let’s move!”

Byleth bolted forwards, positioning herself just behind one of the walls next to the main stone-paved approach to the monastery. Dorothea and Ferdinand followed, with Shamir covering them at a safe distance. Edelgard led her squad to the flank with weaker protection, and Petra and Sylvain hastened to Ladislava’s aid with the remaining two. Soldiers were advancing down the middle lane, and a flash coupled with a shudder in the wall Byleth leaned against signaled that the mages were already at work.

“Can you take a couple out from here?” asked Byleth.

“Already on it,” Shamir responded, loosing an arrow.

“Great. Ferdinand?”

“Of course.” He propelled his steed out into the open, striking down a knight with ease, and Byleth followed him a beat later, sword flicking out to immobilize a nearby soldier by lashing their ankles.

“Hidden soldiers — attack!” Seteth yelled, and a small battalion revealed itself from among the nearby brush.

Byleth severed the axehead of another enemy’s weapon, blasting them away with a burst of flame. _ Goddess, I hope the others can loop around in time. _

Dorothea thrusted a charge of electricity at a heavily-armored knight, felling them, and barely evaded a weighty strike from another. Ferdinand followed up by confronting them, and a third suddenly staggered mid-stride, falling to one knee as they put their hand to a bolt now lodged in their armor. _ Thanks, Bernadetta, _ the professor thought.

“A — a little help?” Ferdinand asked, trying to fight off attackers from either side. One struck the cuisse on his left leg with an axe, and he grunted.

“Don’t worry, Ferdie; I’ve got — ” Dorothea had turned to cast another bolt, but she cried out as another knight slashed at her back, staggering her.

“Dorothea! You’re on healing duty right now, damn it!” the professor said, wheeling on the knight and flicking the tip of her sword against their helmet, throwing another spell to immobilize them.

A silhouette in the air from the left. “Professor! I can be giving assistance,” Petra said. Her wyvern landed on one of their adversaries, and a handaxe buried itself in the back of another, coupled with an arrow from Shamir.

“Thank you, Petra.” With the middle of the battlefield cleared, she was able to slow down and take in her surroundings. She instinctively approached Dorothea, grabbing her hand carefully before she took a swig of the healing concoction. She mentally chided herself when she felt a faint blush. “Save it. I can spare a spell.” A soft light emanated from her palm as she moved it to the songstress’ back.

“Ah — thanks, Professor.”

“No problem.” She scanned either side of the battlefield. She could make out some of the conflict, but it was difficult with the ramparts and edifices littering the terrain. Hanneman was visible on the right, at least. “How does it look over there with Ladislava, Petra?”

Petra shook her head. “She is not having much trouble. Sylvain and Lysithea were speaking that they could be ‘dealing with’ Gilbert, so I was coming to be...reporting to you.”

“Great. Now that we have this situation under control, it would be best for you to aid them.”

“We will be doing our best.”

Byleth turned back towards their path, now guarded only by Seteth and a few supporting knights. Seteth stayed still and resolute, and though he was a bit too far for her to see his eyes, she could see what she had done in his expression.

“Professor?” Dorothea asked. “Are you all right?”

She wiped the guilt from her face with a palm. “I’m — fine. Let us finish this. Shamir?”

“Naturally.”

The professor approached Seteth. His face was distorted with contempt. “Traitor,” he managed. “I will not forgive you for turning on Rhea!”

Shamir let loose an arrow just as he swooped towards them. It deflected off of his wyvern’s scales, and he lost no momentum in his charge against Ferdinand, who was the first obstacle in his path, and the noble was nearly knocked off his steed as he countered Seteth’s spear strike with his own. Byleth and Dorothea rushed a couple of the knights beside him, taking them out at range. That done, they each simultaneously cast a spell at Seteth, and while he escaped the first, the electric beam struck the wyvern directly, ramming it sideways against one of the ramparts. Shamir shot another volley while he was relatively motionless, catching the wyvern in the neck and grazing Seteth’s thigh. With Ferdinand occupied by the final knight, Dorothea hit him directly with yet another spell, rendering him practically defenseless on his wounded wyvern.

Byleth approached Seteth, waving Shamir off. “Seteth,” she said. “Retreat now, before you die. Think of Flayn.”

“How comical that you would say that now.”

“Please. Yield. I don’t—I don’t take pleasure in this.”

“I...cannot….”

He glanced over at Flayn, not so far away from where he had landed, who was having trouble fending off Edelgard and her squad. Byleth noticed it too. “Goddess damn it, Edelgard, you had fucking better be avoiding casualties over there!”

Flayn, alerted from the yell, caught sight of Seteth. “Fa—Brother!”

“Flayn! Retreat while you still can!”

“Understood…. Stay safe, Brother!”

Byleth looked back at Seteth. “Go with her.”

His gaze flickered around the battlefield — the monastery, Flayn, Byleth. Then he left.

“You’re too soft,” said Shamir.

“I can live with that.” She looked to Ferdinand and Dorothea. “Onwards.”

A movement from within the forest. Out of the corner of her eye, Byleth noted the Death Knight.

“Ah, Flame Emperor. You are here. We will lend you strength.”

“A — ” Byleth stopped. “Edelgard, what the _ fuck _?!”

Edelgard approached her. “Don’t worry. We’re allies right now. I can answer your questions after the battle.”

Byleth shook her head. “But can we not just — what part of ‘avoid casualties’ is upheld by contracting the warrior called the _ Death Knight _ to aid us?!”

“I — ” Edelgard sighed. “I promise he will not perpetrate undue bloodshed.”

The professor looked at her. “Well…ugh, that’s as much as I can ask for now, but next time, _ communication _. There are things you cannot spring on someone.”

“Understood. Let us — ”

Rhea.

“Seteth, Flayn, Gilbert...you all put your lives on the line to protect us. I would have preferred to have more time to prepare, but we cannot delay any longer. Come forth! Protect Garreg Mach from those despicable rebels!”

A second wave of forces arose.

_ Damn it, Sothis, would that you were here. _

* * *

“You...how _ dare _ you betray me….”

Rhea brandished her weapon.

“You worthless piece of garbage. I will punish you myself!”

Briefly, Byleth glanced back at her students, then faced her. “To be honest, I...thought I would feel worse about this part.” She attacked.

The Sword of the Creator twisted around Rhea’s own sword, threatening to pull it from her grip. Rhea lunged forwards with her shield, but Byleth was able to step away, pulling forward with her whipsword using Rhea’s forward momentum to stagger her. Then she retracted the blade, following up with a dark burst of energy that sent the archbishop stumbling backwards. She screamed.

“I will not...allow Garreg Mach...or my mother to fall!”

A green light overtook her form — it grew in scale to blind Byleth to practically everything in front of her. There was a massive rumbling. She could see a massive, gray, taloned foot. Then the light gave way, and the dragon was in plain sight, its wings spread wide.

“You will not be forgiven!”

At its mouth a different light grew.

“Professor! Look out!” cried Dorothea.

“The castle is crumbling!”

Dust blew everywhere. It was hard for Byleth to hear. She turned back towards her students.

Hubert stumbled. “Take cover, Professor!”

“Professor!” Sylvain yelled.

The ground at her feet began to crumble.

“You die on my terms,” growled the draconic form, grabbing her with a clawed hand and launching into the air.

_“Professor!”_

The wind battered Byleth’s face as they ascended, drowning out Dorothea's cry. After a minute, for just a moment, she felt herself stop.

Then she began to fall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be up on the 26th. You'll have to wait until then! ;)


	10. Reunion and Turnabout, Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth returns, and shares a belated reunion with Dorothea. Occurs during Moon 12 (BE Chapter 13 in-game).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, we see the author make a reference with a title that is only reasonably applicable to the chapter itself.
> 
> The post-timeskip starts now, and, hey, we're making some progress. I tried to create a bit of a shift in the romantic dynamic, so one would hope that it'll appear that way in the chapter itself. Not too much to say. It's the first of two parts since the chapter I was writing developed into something big enough that it really is more like two chapters given the typical size of what I've posted thus far.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

A hand shook her shoulder. “H-hey! Are you awake?”

Byleth slowly got to her feet. “I...am now. Who...are you, exactly?”

“Oh, I’m just a villager, like everyone else here. What were you doing floating down the river?”

She glanced at her clothes.  _ Ugh, gross. _ Soaked. She’d have to warm it up with magic later.

The man continued, musing. “The only place upstream of here is Garreg Mach, but that place was abandoned a while ago.”

“Sorry?”

“What do you mean? About the monastery?”

“It was abandoned?”

“You don’t know? The Church is gone. Sure, there’s  _ some _ people still living there in the past five years, but….”

“Who?”

“Uh, the Imperial Army.”

She put her head in her hands. “Five…. Okay, sorry, this is going to sound bad, but what year is it again?”

“It’s...the Ethereal Moon, 1185. Tomorrow was actually supposed to be the Millenium Festival, but who can think about stuff like that?”

_ Goddess. Sothis, what the hell. How could this have happened? How fucking much did I miss? Oh no no no did anyone die? Please tell me they haven’t died. And the fucking Millenium Festival? _

Byleth started walking off.

“Uh. Where are you going?”

“I….” She composed herself. A smile somehow found her lips. “Actually, here.” She tossed the man a Beginner Seal. “This is quite the wager, but you may want to keep this once you find out who I am. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a date with the monastery.”

The monastery was not in total ruin. Even in the darkness just before dawn, she could tell that much of it was still intact. It was close enough to how it had been that it didn’t feel as if anything had changed — which helped calm the professor somewhat.

_ Who should she see first? Logic says Edelgard. Instinct says Dorothea. Anxiety says not Dorothea. Ugh. Um…. _

She headed to Dorothea’s room.

By the time she had found Dorothea’s quarters, she realized she was shaking.  _ It’s fine. You’ll be fine. She’ll be fine. Just do it before you change your mind. _

She squeezed her eyes shut, took a breath, and knocked on the door.

A faint rustling behind the door. A feminine groan that sounded ever-so-slightly different than expected. “What kind of time is this to wake a woman up?”

“A time when I don’t want to wake up the others quite yet,” Byleth murmured.

Something thudded on the floor. Hard. The door swung open.

“What. the hell.”

_ Goddess, she’s beautiful. And so different. And yet...so much the same. _

“...Can I come in?”

Dorothea threw herself at Byleth, hugging her fiercely. Dorothea’s lips brushed her cheek, clearly unintentionally, and the professor froze.

“Do you  _ know  _ what it’s been like these past years?” her student said, having pulled away quickly, her cheeks pink and her eyes teary.

“I — ”

“Do you know what it’s been like to fight deadly battles multiple times a month with no anchor? Do you know how  _ hard _ it was to replace you? Do you know many fucking times I instinctively thought,  _ Oh, Byleth can help, I’ll go see her — _ and then realized you weren’t around? Where the  _ hell _ were you?”

“I — ” Byleth halted, smiling irrepressibly. “Unconscious and floating down a river, I’m told…?”

“What the  _ fuck _ !” But Dorothea was grinning now too, laughing through the tears.

“Keep your voice down a little. I don’t want the others to know I went to see you first. — Oh goddess, are they all okay? Did anything happen?”

The songstress lowered her voice a little. “No, don’t worry; they’re all fine. They’ll all be thrilled to see you. You say you didn’t even talk to Edelgard beforehand? I feel so honored.”

“Thank Sothis.”  _ It sounds so strange to say that. _

“So…what happened, anyway?” Dorothea withdrew a handkerchief to dab at her tears.

Byleth paused. “You saw the Immaculate One pick fly into the air with me, right?”

“And dropped you? …Hard for me to forget it.”

“Yeah. I guess that’s…basically everything, actually? I landed in a river, perhaps, and just kept floating? Goddess, it’s just so hard to process. I was really unconscious for that long?”

“You tell me, Professor. You didn’t just decide you needed a break from us?”

Byleth smiled. “I wouldn’t let you off that easy.”

Dorothea giggled. Then, as if on impulse, she hugged her again, murmuring, “Goddess. I can’t believe you’re back.”

They stood in the embrace for a long moment. Eventually, Dorothea pulled away, the motion abrupt and rigid.

“I should really check in with Edelgard,” the professor said. “We can get caught up later, okay?”

“Okay. …See you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter should be up in two days despite that it's Thanksgiving for all us US folks. See you then (or later depending on if/how you celebrate it)!


	11. Reunion and Turnabout, Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorothea shares with Byleth some of her insecurities. Occurs around two weeks after Reunion and Turnabout, Part 1 (still BE Chapter 13 in-game).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is the least directly-inspired-by-the-game support conversation that I've written yet. (For the sake of allowing people to avoid spoilers, yes, this is modeled on Dorothea's A Support with Byleth.) I also enjoyed writing this one greatly, so there's that. I really just wanted to expand upon Dorothea's characterization, and it feels like I managed that.
> 
> We're getting pretty close to actual romance. I feel like there has been little to none in previous chapters, but given that this is the eleventh, you should know that the end is in sight. I may also extend the predicted final chapter count to 16, incidentally.
> 
> Oh, also, fun fact you likely already know — not everyone blushes in the cheeks. The entire face (including ears, of course) is fair game, and even the neck and upper chest. (For my aunt, for instance, I know that it's mostly her forehead.) I thought it might be fun to do something with that.
> 
> Anyway, why don't we get right to the chapter itself? Enjoy!

“...And I recently had the soil here replaced since it looked worn out, so it should be safe to plant a few seeds here, too.”

“Aha! I should have known that was what it was,” said Alois.

“That that was...what, if you don’t mind me asking?” said Byleth, continuing to sow the seeds.

“Oh, well, you see, I had been planting the seeds in the same exact place for many months while you were gone. After half a year, they didn’t seem to be growing at all, so I decided I had better quit while I was ahead.”

The mercenary looked at him. “Was there anyone else around who tended to the flowers?”

Alois had to stop to think. “Actually, I don’t know. There must have been a couple, because the greenhouse is in good shape now, but…I don’t think I ever saw them.”

“So you didn’t ask anyone about how to plant the seeds?”

“Well, I sorta figured I didn’t need to, what with the instructions on the containers,” he said. “And, to be honest, I got pretty excited about the idea of growing some big flower or other.”

_ Oh, Alois. _ “Why don’t you try asking around for someone well-versed in gardening and horticulture, then? I can’t say I know who to recommend, but you’ll make much more progress that way.” She stood up, having finished, and noticed someone behind her. “Hello, Dorothea. What brings you here?”

“Are you busy? I’m sorry. I won’t bother you if you’re working.”

“Oh! No,” Alois said, straightening up. “In fact, I was just about to…leave, to do what the professor just suggested and find a gardener. Good day, Professor. Good day, Dorothea.” He hastened out of the building.

_ …Thank you, Alois, but I didn’t ask you to be a wingman. _

Dorothea looked at him as he left. “That was strange.”

“...Yeah, it sort of was. Dunno what that was about. Did you want to talk?”

“Um, yes, actually, if that’s all right with you.”

Byleth made to leave with her.

“Ah, here is just fine. There’s no one else here, after all. Unless you want to go somewhere else?”

“No, this works. So...what’s it all about?”

Dorothea hesitated. “It’s...well, I never got the chance to thank you, all those years ago.”

“About what?”

“...Do you remember the time I talked to you about those soul gazes?”

“I remember.” She smiled.

“After that, you gave a lot less of them. I haven’t seen one in a while even since you’ve come back. So…I just wanted to thank you for making me feel a little more comfortable.”

“Well, as it happens,” she said, “something occurred to me when you told me about that.”

“Oh?”

“Even besides making you feel uncomfortable, that sort of mindset where I believed I could see what was real and what was a projection, it’s not sensible. The truth is, despite how much I know about you as a person, I can’t just say that I know the truth behind every action you make. I understand that you’re keeping up an appearance of extraverted confidence, but it’s impossible for me to be sure, for instance, how much of that extraversion is real. Even when I know some of it. And whether or not I knew every facet of your past, I couldn’t be certain. …Sorry. I’m not explaining it well. I guess I mean…no matter whether or not I guess correctly, it isn’t right to assume, and projecting assumptions onto others will never bring anything good. So, I’m sorry.”

Dorothea nodded, her eyes averted. “Thank you.” Then, after a moment: “Actually, may I...tell you a story?”

“O...of course.”

“...As a child, I lived in the back alleys of Enbarr. I was an orphan, and I was barely able to keep myself alive. I had no hope. Then one day, when someone overheard me, desolate and singing to comfort myself, I suddenly had a new life. I was a songstress in the Mittlefrank Opera Company. So many people came to see me. I met performers, nobility, powerful businesspeople…. They just never met _ me_. It was all fake, a part I was playing for this new life. That was what they saw. That was what they liked — the pretty young girl who could sing; the beautiful diva; not the scared, ragged child who lived on the streets and stole for a living.

“But I was acting, and I knew that not only was this confident performer not me; after ten, twenty years, I would no longer even look the part. What would I have left then? I started trying to use that fleeting charisma to secure a happy future, but…the constant flirting, the constant sex…that wasn’t how I _ really _ wanted to live, how I _ really _ wanted to find my special someone. I don’t really even know why I did it. Maybe...maybe I thought that was the only possible way. Maybe I didn’t think I deserved better, or that I could ever find something better. I…I just….” She heaved a breath. “I’m always so scared. I didn't want you to know any of that. That’s why it bothered me.”

For a while, Byleth was silent. “...The first thing I want to say is, you know you’re more than that, right? So many people have told you that your appearance is your main value, but you know that isn’t true. You’ve survived trauma and adversity, and you found your way to an occupation that lets you do something you love for a living. You’re incredibly strong. You deserve what you have received, and you will receive more of what you deserve in the future. You will not live or die forever lonely, and you will not lose everything when you’re no longer a singer. That is a promise.”

Dorothea nodded, swallowing.

“The other thing, if this could be of practical aid, is, you should think about what it would be like to forgo some of those things that constitute your...invented persona. What would it be like to stop doing them?”

“I…I don’t know. …It’s hard to imagine. If I managed it, it seems like it might be relieving, but I can’t see it happening.”

“It doesn’t have to be all at once. It wasn’t sudden when you started your career, and you can make it even slower than that.”

“Maybe I’ll try that. Thank you, Professor. I feel like I don’t say it enough.”

“—You can call me Byleth. I’m not your professor any longer.”

Byleth seemed to imagine her student’s collarbone turning red. “...Byleth. Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter up in two days. See ya then! Oh, and happy Thanksgiving for those who celebrate it!


	12. Consulting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth seeks out some of her students to help answer her questions. Occurs during Moon 1 (BE Chapter 14 in-game).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, I get some time to write one of my favorite characters. I'm surprised I never really had a chance to use Linhardt in this fic. In fact, the there seems to be little correlation between "characters I like most" and "characters I use the most in this fic" other than our two protagonists. It's strange. Anyway, have fun with the banter between this established pair, and hope you're excited for the approaching climax of the fic. Enjoy!

_ Goddess, where could a pair like that spend their time? _

Byleth ducked into the entrance hall. She had scoured the entire southern portion of Garreg Mach and thus far had gotten nowhere. It was at the point where she wasn’t certain either of them had not slipped by into the region where she had already looked for them.

“Ah, Petra — would you have any idea where Caspar or Linhardt might be?” she asked, noting her presence nearby.

“I am not knowing with certainty, but I am thinking I…saw them near the classroom when I was coming here.”

“Great. Thanks!”

Before Byleth left, Petra added, “Is your…distractedness being smaller now?”

“I’m…working on it. I shouldn’t be as distant next class. Thank you for asking. But I do have to go now; perhaps I’ll find them before they disappear.”

“Good day.”

The professor hastened back towards the academy. They weren’t in the classroom, of course, and were nowhere to be seen around the grounds. The training grounds? _ I suppose Caspar might be capable of forcing Linhardt to follow him there. _

Inclining her head slightly at Jeritza as she approached the doors, she slipped through.

“...can’t help it, Caspar. Some of us need more breaks than you do.”

“Gah, fine. Can you at least throw some spells at me, then?”

“You know I have a finite supply. If I need them later today, or tomorrow, it will be your fault that I’ll be useless.”

Byleth spoke. “Mind if I intrude?”

“Oh, not at all,” Linhardt said. “What brings you to the training grounds?”

“I actually had been hoping to…talk to one of you two. I suppose it’s fortunate that I found you both at once.”

“Yeah? What’s up?” Caspar relaxed his stance and dropped his axe to his side, migrating in her direction.

“It’s a rather random question, and if I’m overstepping my boundaries at all feel free not to answer, but…I was wondering how the two of you — well, got together.” She wiped a hand down her face. “Ugh, that sounds strange. I’m asking in the name of advice, if that helps.”

Linhardt raised an eyebrow. “You mean to say you still haven’t, to use your own words, ‘gotten together’ with Dorothea yet?”

“I — ” Byleth sighed. “I mean, no? I suppose it would only humiliate me further to ask how you know.”

“I'm sure it would.”

“So, basically, you want tips? And you’re asking us?” Once Linhardt had found his place beside him, Caspar captured him by looping an arm around his shoulder. “No offense, but that’s kind of a weird move.”

“Yeah, I suppose so. It’s just gotten to the point where I’m not sure what else to do. And, to be honest, you seem like the most…accessible couple here. I don’t know how to put it. If it’s a strange request, you don’t have to offer anything.”

“Oh, but you see, if the Black Eagle Strike Force is to achieve its maximum capabilities, we simply cannot have a leader who is not in peak mental condition. We must, therefore, do all that we can for you.” Linhardt swept a lock of hair out of his eyes. “Let us see, how did that all transpire again?”

Caspar eyed him. “Really? Something that important, and you’ve forgotten it? What am I going to do with you when you get older?”

“Sleep more, I imagine. To be honest, Professor, it was not a very difficult task. I simply took advantage of a time when no others were around, and I explained my feelings and my wishes. Then, Caspar said yes.”

“I, uh, think you forgot…_all _ the details.”

“No anxiety involved?” asked Byleth. “I suppose I could imagine that from you, Linhardt.”

Caspar shrugged. “He says he knew I’d say yes anyway. Made _ me _all word-clumsy and crap, though.”

“I think the point worth making is that you should just get on with it. I have never had reason to believe your beloved songstress would say anything but yes, and I don’t imagine Caspar has, either.”

“Yeah, I know. I don’t think I’ve ever been given a good, concrete reason for that to happen, either, but….” Byleth ran a hand through her hair. “I just don’t know.”

“You didn’t see her when you were gone, Professor,” Caspar said. “I never thought I’d know a time when Dorothea wasn’t cheerful and flirtatious. The fact that she’s even…you know, chosen to keep herself alive this long, maybe it’s because of you.”

The former professor gave a slow nod.

“To be as objective as possible, my honest suggestion is to kiss her before one of you fucking dies,” Linhardt added. “Or before she gives up on you. There’s no argument more compelling than the inexorable approach of death, after all, though I humbly request that you do not quote me on that for my sake.”

Byleth couldn’t help but smile at that. “I’ll…keep that in mind. Thank you for the improvised advice.”

“I like to think of it as efficiently synthesized advice.”

“Or, like, advice from the heart. From instinct?”

“I gave most of it. It came from the brain, not my gut.”

“Well, that’s good, because you have literally _ no _guts.”

“Keep it up and you _ may _ solicit a few spells.”

The former professor laughed. “Goodbye, you two. Enjoy yourselves.”

“It’s _ you _ who will be enjoying yourself if everything goes well,” Linhardt replied, waving her off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter should be up on, wow, December 2nd. Hope to see you then!


	13. Catharsis and Catastrophe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorothea pays a visit to Byleth, whom she helps make a friend. Other things happen too. Occurs during Moon 2 (BE Chapter 15 in-game).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, we see the author produce a title that is a bad and forced pun based on context in the chapter, which the reader will not have seen yet. Titles are hard, y'all. I'm sorry.
> 
> Well, this is a pretty unique chapter as far as the way I tend to write romance, but I won't spoil why. It's also got cats, a fact that I adore. With that said, enjoy!
> 
> P.S. if you get the VA joke you get a gold star

“Professor?” Dorothea knocked on her door.

“Be there in a second!”

Pulling her head out from under her bed, Byleth stood up and went to open it. “Do you want to come in? It’s cold.”

“If that’s okay with you.”

The mercenary ushered her in. “What brings you here, if I might ask?”

“Well, my first question is how long you’ve been keeping that kitty in here.”

Byleth glanced down at the form beside her bed, then smiled, shaking her head. “To be honest, it’s more the opposite. I found her under my bed this morning and she was supposedly refusing to come out. Apparently she likes you better.”

The cat mewed.

“Ohh, aren’t you such a sweetie?” said Dorothea. She knelt down to pet it, and it rubbed up against her legs.

“It’s not fair,” Byleth muttered while turning her desk chair around and sitting down. “Cats and dogs and the like never let me touch them. They always run away.”

Dorothea cooed at it, scratching behind its ears. “Well, she had better stay right where she is. She’d freeze out there in the cold.”

“...What did you say you came for?”

“I don’t know. I was bored. Do you mind?”

“Not particularly. I’m not sure how this asocial mess can keep you entertained, even if she was once your professor.”

“Oh, believe me, there are ways,” she said, smiling slyly.

_ Fuck. _ Byleth turned her face so that Dorothea couldn’t see the blush, but she smiled all the same. _ Goddess, it’s getting worse_. “I thought you were going to cut down on doing that.”

“Only when I wouldn’t enjoy it,” she replied, returning her attention to the cat. “Here, I have an idea.” She picked up the feline form, curling it up in her arms, and walked over to Byleth. “Try to pet her?”

“Are you sure? I don’t want her to scratch you.”

“You can heal me if that happens. Quick, before she decides to squirm out.”

Carefully, Byleth approached, and reached her hand out halfway so that the cat could see it coming. It wriggled in Dorothea’s arms, but she stroked it and it calmed down. Byleth drew her fingers along the cat’s back.

“See? She’s okay.” Byleth wasn’t sure if Dorothea was talking to her or to the cat.

More petting. The cat actually started purring.

“She is truly quite soft,” said Byleth. “I’m beginning to regret having been unable to interact with such animals.”

“Maybe you just need some experience.”

The cat squirmed. Dorothea placed it on the bed, sitting down on the edge beside it. Byleth followed.

“So, to ask the most generic question, how have you been?” asked Byleth. “I feel as if my every waking moment is consumed by war and tactics.”

“I’ve been…all right. The others don’t seem to be as bothered by the bloodshed, which is a little isolating, but it’s nothing I can’t handle.”

“You know…before the monastery, it was different. I was desensitized to it all. Even after just the first month here, though, the thought of watching one of my students die…I couldn’t stand it. Sometimes I wish it were easier, but it feels wrong to push down the guilt. It’s facing the situation that takes strength — strength you clearly have.”

“You may think that, but the war’s been hard, Byleth. Those years you were gone were hell. The tension, the nightmares, the loneliness, the killing — I don’t know how I survived. My career as a songstress ended, perhaps forever, I gave up on the one-night stands. When you came back, it felt like I had hope again; it felt like I could stand this world of strife.” Her hand slid to touch Byleth’s on the bed.

“...Well, I’m not going to disappear again.” Byleth found a smile for her. “Not even death fucks with me.”

Dorothea chuckled. “I love how right you are, when I think about it.”

_ oh Goddess Byleth that’s a bad idea _

“That being said…” the former professor added, “...there are some people that _ I _ would ‘fuck with.’”

Byleth leaned forwards a little, a self-amused smile on her face, to glimpse Dorothea’s face. Then she caught sight of the expression and froze. Flushed cheeks, awkward eyes, uncertain lips a centimeter open, a thoroughly reddened neck and collarbone. “Oh no, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t h—”

“No,” Dorothea said quickly, although she didn’t look at her. “I’m just — this is just — there’s no reason, really, I actually….” She trailed off. “I’m…I’m sorry. I think I should go. There’s something I have to do, I just, um, remembered…. Bye.”

“Dorothea, please w—”

But she had already hurried out the door.

Letting out an uneven breath, Byleth kneaded her temples. “Sothis…. What do I do with _ that_?”

The cat mewled again.

“Huh. Do you like that name? Sothis?” She stroked it softly. Another meow. “I know, I know. I’ll…try to talk to her, at least. Maybe I can figure out what the hell I messed up.” _ Goddess. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be up on the 4th. Until then!


	14. A Pair of Messes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth checks on her former student, and is met with a result she didn't entirely expect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is the climactic moment, y’all! Sorry it's coming out later in my day than normal. Reminder that I dubbed this fic mature, in case you may have forgotten, and I did so for a reason. I’ve been waiting for this for a pretty long time, so I’m hopeful that the payoff is at least acceptable. Anyway, why not get on with it right now? Enjoy!

The mercenary had just finished organizing the papers in Jeralt’s old office when someone stopped in passing by the door.

“Ah, Professor. Exactly who I was looking for.”

Byleth inclined her head. “Edelgard. Is my presence needed?”

“I only wished to ask for your aid in something. Would you consider it?”

“Of course.”

“It’s regarding Dorothea. She has been spending an inordinate amount of time in her room and has been extremely evasive. I was unable to coax her out, as was Lysithea, and so I came to ask whether you could attempt to do so yourself.”

The former professor sighed, nodding. “I…suppose I was going to have to face this eventually. I can talk to her. Thank you for trying to help, though. Incidentally, how is Lysithea? It’s been a while since I’ve been able to talk to her.”

“Oh. We — ” Edelgard averted her gaze. “—Excuse me. She has been doing quite well.”

“Good to hear. I might as well be off now, though,” Byleth said, “before I change my mind. You two enjoy yourselves.”

“I didn’t — very well.”

Byleth’s pace sped up as soon as she was out of sight. _ Don’t think about it, don’t think about her, don’t think about what you’re about to do — an order. It’s just an order. You’re following Edelgard’s instructions to provide aid for a student who is having difficulty. Nothing more than that. _

She was able to continue to delude herself until she arrived at Dorothea’s room. _ Goddess. This is a terrible idea. There is no way something doesn’t go wrong. Either I say something stupid or I do something stupid, and alienate her even further. The likelihood that this could — _

Pushing the thoughts out of the way, she knocked on the door.

“...Yes?”

She swallowed. “It’s Byleth.”

“O-oh. I’m sorry, I — don’t think it’s a good idea for you to come in right now. I’m still don’t feel entirely…in control.”

“I can understand when you’re just avoiding me, but when you’re hiding from other people, too, someone needs to check on you.”

“I’m fine. Really.”

“Well, I won’t let you wait until you’re not fine to ask for help. Please. You don’t even have to let me in. I only want to talk; I promise it’ll be worth it.”

Byleth heard her sigh. “Oh, Professor, you can’t say things like that right now….”

“I’m sorry. I’m worried. Would you at least consider it to assuage my anxiety?”

A silence. Then: “…Come in.”

The lock clicked, and Byleth opened the door. Stepping inside, she faced a Dorothea who was just getting up from a sitting position on her bed, unable to face her directly. Surprisingly, the room looked remarkably normal. But Byleth was able to tell immediately that her former student’s face lacked its typical makeup, even though she had averted her gaze.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“What for?”

“For being difficult.”

“It’s all right. I understand if I did something you weren’t comfortable with.”

“I’m just…there’s things that scare me, all right? Things I haven’t told you about.”

The former professor nodded. “Would it help to talk? I’ll listen to anything you have to say.”

Dorothea shook her head. “That sort of thing is the problem, Byleth! If you keep giving me hope, and this dynamic still doesn’t change, it’s going to drive me mad.”

“...This…I’m sorry, I…really don’t understand.”

She took a deep breath. “Have you ever wondered about why I stopped…sleeping around with people?”

Byleth found her throat too dry to answer immediately. “You said they just weren’t…” she smiled a bit in spite of the mood, “…doing it for you, so to speak?”

“Yeah. That wasn’t — that wasn’t wrong, but I came to understand a-another reason.”

She nodded, hardly able to do anything else. _ Fuck, why am I so— _

“I…I fell in love, Byleth. For real.”

Dorothea’s gaze avoided her even more pointedly now, her face flushed pink, practically scarlet around her collarbone. She took a few tentative steps closer, and finally, tear-sore eyes focused on Byleth. “I think I decided to say this at the moment I let you in. The truth is, I’m having trouble staying quiet any longer. It’s been too long. I — I need to know if you feel the same way I do. Byleth, do you…would you m-marry a mess like me?”

A heartbeat surged in Byleth’s chest. Her body felt so hot. She swallowed, tried to ignore the prickling in her eyes, and managed, “Goddess, can I?”

Dorothea gasped. “Fuck — you really — fuck, yes!” Now Byleth could make out tears in the songstress’s eyes, too, and she grabbed her former professor’s hands and pulled up close, a deep longing finally clear in her eyes, and then she asked in a whimper, “Please can I kiss you?”

A smile working its way past her tears, Byleth nodded.

The warmth of Dorothea’s lips on hers hit all of Byleth’s senses at once, and she melted into the feeling, letting her instincts prolong the kiss. Dorothea’s right hand slid up Byleth’s arm to her shoulder, gripping it softly, and she cradled the back of her head with her other hand. She pressed harder into the kiss as Byleth found a place for her own hands at Dorothea’s hips, squeezing rhythmically as if to mold their lips together. For a long moment of ecstasy, they held the kiss while Dorothea trailed her fingers through Byleth’s hair.

They pulled apart at the same time, though even then only a few inches separated. Hot breath swirled in the space between them.

“I’m so gay,” murmured Byleth.

“I’ve…never had a kiss like that before.”

“Glad I could give you something new.”

Dorothea giggled, then sobered, an embarrassed expression overtaking her. “Actually, I’m also…kind of horny right now….”

“—How sensual can you make a kiss?”

“Pretty fucking sensual.” She smiled. “How sensual a kiss can you take?”

Byleth raised an eyebrow. “From you? Are you kidding?”

“You’d better prepare yourself, then.”

Dorothea leaned in.

In an instant the energy of the kiss struck Byleth — the difference in intensity almost staggered her. Dorothea propelled herself further, working her tongue into Byleth’s mouth, sparking a searing sensation in her nerves as the songstress explored inside. She extracted her tongue for just a moment for Byleth to catch her breath, and then dived in again, the mercenary now ready to respond in kind. A long, ravishing exchange of saliva caused every nerve in Byleth’s body to hum together, and she lost any semblance of control she’d had left when Dorothea pushed her up against the near wall and filled her mouth with a long wave of exploratory samplings.

Dorothea pulled out again. Breathless, all Byleth could manage was a heated whimper.

“Was that…good?” Dorothea asked, retrieving her own breath.

“That was better…than most…of the _ sex _ I’ve had.”

She gave a sympathetic smile. “Now, we do need to change that.”

“Goddess.” Byleth tried to cover her face. “Oh — you know, I almost forgot about this.” She searched her pockets, then pulled it out, keeping it hidden in her fist for now. “Jeralt…kept this as a remembrance of my mother. He wanted me to give it to someone I love. Um. So here you go.” She awkwardly took Dorothea’s hand and splayed out the palm, then placed the ring in it.

Dorothea took a long look at the ring, seemingly unable to stop smiling, and then embraced her. “Goddess, Byleth, I don’t know what to say. I — thank you. Thank you so much.”

After a minute, they parted again.

“…Have you been eating?” Byleth asked. “Edelgard said you’d been spending a lot of time alone, but you were going out when needed, right?”

A light laugh. “Yes, Byleth, I was eating.”

“Great. Then, uh, I feel stupid for asking, but there…isn’t anything else we need to do, is there?”

“...No. I don’t believe so. We’re a couple. That’s how it works.”

“Oh.” Byleth processed this. “Want to grab dinner later?”

“Why grab dinner later when I can grab my dessert now?” Dorothea responded, latching onto the former professor’s arm.

Byleth flushed. “F — damn, now I need to be more careful about saying ‘fuck.’ And, I, uh, you’re not wrong.”

“Not flirting back? But you’re so good at it.”

“I think I’ll enjoy saving that for when I want to _ really _make you squirm.”

Dorothea squeezed Byleth’s arm harder, half-burying her face in her shoulder. “I’ll…keep that in mind.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, you may be able to see what more or less depriving herself of sex for years has done to Dorothea. However, this is not the full extent of what she needs, and thus for her sake I do need to add a smutty chapter. That is definitely the reason I'm writing this. Such a chapter is also something I haven't finished yet, so I will take a little more time than usual to publish it. I also may include a post-war established relationship chapter after that, but given my track record for posting chapters after the main conflict is resolved, don't necessarily count on it.
> 
> Regardless, the next chapter will be up…in time. Give me a week? We'll see. Until then!


End file.
